...Mistakes...

..."I made a mistake"... how often have we heard that?... rather, how often have we said that.... its just sad that - we'll never really know, whether this time is really the last time we make this error in judgement... somehow, its a little nerve wrecking to realize or be aware of the fact this is not the last time you'll be making an embarrassing misunderstanding or a foolish incredible thought... after a point its just really stressful... right now - the best way to put it across is that I'm tired... of these misunderstandings, foolish as well as childish hopes - that in a different or even normal state of mind you'd be able to clearly distinguish... These are the real remedies to which mankind must strive for answers...... seems like a plebeian problem to focus so much energy and resources on..... but when you really think about it - once we are rid of such seemingly trivial problems - we'd be a much more sorted out lot and can actually be in the frame of mind to tackle poverty, hunger and world peace.........

Ode to the Cruel Lover

When we read a story..... any kind of story...... there are different ways it ends....... theres the ever popular but rare and unrealistic - Happy Ending...... or the more common and real but heart wrenching - Sad Ending....... theres the story that has no definite ending and makes the reader ponder and think about its end..... and then theres the unfinished ending....... where everything has stopped abruptly and a cruel and eternally stinging ending.....
             Mostly love stories with such endings are widely read for their different content or they are read by people who have gone through such an experience themselves and can relate to......... or maybe their just looking for some closure...... or an idea of what to do...... or because they know that they are not alone and that there are many other cruel lovers and their heartbroken counterparts........... the heartbroken lover is saddened deeply and goes on leading their tragic period..... they are comforted by friend and family...... they are shown the brighter side or hidden opportunity...... they are also reassured of exactly how heinous their cruel lover was..... In some cases the heartbroken lover realizes that and becomes a hater of the opposite sex or just that one person who has spoiled their idea of love - this becomes something they live with forever or till they meet the lover that makes it disappear......... Or the heartbroken lover understands and harbours no ill feeling..... and to such lovers I proclaim my eternal gratitude and affection - for they are the true deservers.
                                                                                But we rarely look at the cruel lover who has wrenched away the happiness for whatever reason..... maybe they, as Shakespeare put it found an "alteration" - in which case can we blame them for finding someone better suited to them?........ of course that depends how exactly they committed the crime....... maybe they just got bored - How dare they!....... but even to that what can you  say but that they fell out of love........ is it to be blamed? - are you not to be blamed for thinking it was true love?........... there are many permutations and combinations of lovers..... but by far the worst is the cruel lover who had to put an end to their love for the sake of themselves and the other....... to save the two of further grief and complexity........ recognising that love alone was not enough to stay together and that the many other factors that made it a union, were in conflict............ the cruel lover who knew it wouldn't last till the end of time and to make sure the last moments were of joy and not anger...... the cruel lover who hopes in time their beloved will eventually rise above from this grief and live a life of happiness and content, possibly with another more suited........ but to find out that the heartbroken lover is ever understanding and doesn't demand your love but only your happiness wherever it may be........... what does the cruel lover do now?....... except put on a mask and live every moment joyously, daring not to think back of their heartbroken lover and their memories together........ for who knows, maybe all the masks in the universe will not hide their misery......

... may everyday feel like a Holiday...

Holiday – such a lovely word… A word that creates an entire series in your head, of things you will do, see and experience. From sleeping in the finest sheets Belgium can offer to feeling every grain of sand on the sunset beaches of Algarve. The term holiday doesn’t give credit to the feeling it stirs within every individual – each different but equally desired. A holiday is kind of like Spring Love that rejuvenates and gives new meaning to an otherwise dreary morning. It puts a warm smile that was trapped beneath the icy reality you carried on your face. Holidays are not just about going to places and enjoying the 'new' sights and sounds – but anything that you have wanted so much to do but couldn’t because of all the routine elements of your life. So your holiday just might be taking a few days off work with late mornings and afternoons spent in the maze of a library and finished off with a midnight cup of coffee in front of a crackling fireplace. Even while thinking of taking a holiday, your mind has already broken free of the shackles of the ordinary. Even as you’re taking the same route, you hear the sound of your shoes on the cobbled streets – a sweet and unfamiliar sound that is more melodious than the greatest symphonies of all time. While booking tickets you are already smiling thinking of the trance the Spanish guitar will take you into. On your way to the station or airport you’re already licking your lips at the thought of the heavy cream that is generously smothered on your pastry, which you will order in a couple of hours. You’ve already thought of souvenirs you will buy at a store or keep the local station ticket stub as one. It’s strangely drawing you into this wonderful world of dreams and possibilities that may change your life or just bring out the smile that’s been patiently waiting to break out…     

     

March 3rd, 2011 - Untitled

At the risk of being accused of using this space as a frustration outlet, I dare to proceed............... The dreamers always get the short end of the deal...... for no fault of their on - except that they were born that way...... how far can you blame it on them - 'Hey you were born practical and realistic, being able to assess what is plausible and not - Not everyone is born like that'........ What do the Dreamers do? Well... very simply put - they dream...... and it seems like in the surreal space where they saw it happen - anything is possible........ and everything is possible........... we build structures.....we grow with nature......... we give birth to an escapists dream destination.....

                     But then we come crashing back...... with the sound of an all too realistic and pragmatic clock, the unsympathetic and careless hands of friend or mother and sometimes awoken after the inebriated stupor of your surreal state wears off...... sigh.... thats the worst of them all......... Its almost like you can't take it anymore and you voluntarily walk into the world....... I don't know anymore - theres a clear distinction and no space for one in the other dimension..... Now what do we do about that....... When we sift through parallel existences and find that we have problems with both....... If we find two insatiable, How will we be at peace with one?

"Relative"

What is the name for the feeling you have, when your halfway between disappointed and depressed...... this in between - like most 'in between' things in life remains seemingly nameless and suffering identity crisis......... i'm not that emotionally stricken as to say that 'I' am depressed..... or destroyed....... or unable to cope......... but at the same time...... its more than an obstacle in your path........ more than a stone you've tripped over....... its more than how you feel when you say "aahh its ok"..........
                                                                                 I guess this is where the term 'relative' came in....... to rescue the english language from the ridicule of not being able 2 express it verbally....... but does "relative" really cover the feeling.......... i guess if you say that, does any word express a feeling exactly as it is....... in that case - 'relative' really comes to your rescue....... because maybe no word in english or possibly any other language can actually give you the real feeling.......... only a relative one...........



Image Courtesy - Aihibed Magaña

The Deadliest Sin.....

One of the trickiest and most conniving........ the one thats dressed in the garb of the most harmless...... but in its true potential, threatens to become the most lethal of them all............  The Christian faith defines Sloth as spiritual or moral apathy, neglecting what God has spoken, and being physically and emotionally inactive........... it was considered a Sin as it showed the negligence and failure to use God given gifts or blessings.......... It was associated with the demon - Belphegor who tempted people into a life of languor............. 

                                                                                          On a less religious level of understanding........ you and I can term Sloth as being lazy in an enormously large degree........ Its what keeps us from being an F1 driver..... wildlife biologist.......... documentary film-maker........ and the likes......... its the vice that has entered the being of an unfortunate lot and spreads like a cancer........... Its a curse I do not know why I have been borne with...... Like me, many others wonder what it is like to feel the urge to work......... we wonder what possibly attracts one to toil and sweat........... they are the ones who would assuredly go ahead......... what will be of us..... is anybody's guess.............

Web of Lies

Its so perplexing isn't it........... life and all its mendacity.......... its just like an irresistible game of "Guess What"....... unfortunately most of the time your off the mark!.......... You hardly ever have the good fortune of seeing your dreams or hopes manifest into something physical.......... and when you do its mostly a matter of perception......... but you never know...... its possibly those few fleeting moments..... deceptive as they may be..... that bring in you a rush of life....... a sudden pump of adrenaline that you feel like you could go on and on and on........ I don't really know how it feels like...... I've restricted myself from such 'frivolities'....... but you know at some point it seems that its something you ought to feel......... even if it is pain...........



Image Courtesy - www.amypatacchiola.com