Who can say?

...sometimes, when we pause to take a breath or reluctantly accompany a friend to an unusual activity... we chance upon a very strange scenario...... often we are a part of this scenario or we are spectators to it...... either way it englobes (if there is such a word or not) us and makes us think.... or not think...... it acts as a sudden break from our normal passage of time........ such moments are not too hard to come by...... but they aren't always taken in the spirit it is intended...... i wonder if it can possibly be over-rated or under-rated..... although I don't think they can be perfectly rated..... they are much too surprising to be analysed in our full faculties...... or maybe they are beyond plebeian analysis...... its very funny how these startling moments can just whoosh past and one runs the risk of being too plebeian to even notice them.... i wonder if that is scary or a relief?..... who can say?....... but that must happen everyday..... we see it happening and don't give it a second thought - possibly not worth a thought....... or possibly worth every single one of them.... again, who can say?........... are these merely spots of fresh ink on an otherwise dry piece of paper....... is it just a drop of colour or a frisk of texture that makes us feel that life was after all worth it?........ who can say..... i certainly can't, i don't know if you can either.......

Image Courtesy - http://danielsgraphiclife.blogspot.com/2008/12/papa-mama-in-ede-wageningen.html

Romance of Sail

...everyone who has had the privilege of being alive, has had a love affair........ it may be brief or last a lifetime....... passionate and sweeping or intense and lingering, more than often even a mixture of them........ everyone has had the opportunity to love and pine for it...... whether everyone may have this love fulfilled is a different story altogether....... when we are in this dense web of love, its impossible to get out and even more impossible to associate logic or reason......... its like a power is overcoming every sensation....... many of us delve into it headfirst, in that spirit of spontaneity it deserves..... a most exhilarating feeling...... now, this love affair may not always be associated with a person...... that is the mistake a lot of us commit, thinking that such overpowering love can only be towards another human being......

...... i've lost my heart to many a person...... i've been hopelessly infatuated and passionate about some..... but to this day, my strongest love affair is with the sea.... the most beautiful entity humanity has been blessed with....... there is something so simple and powerful about it - that makes me go weak....... for me, there exists no face that i can look at for hours on end....... there is nothing else that tugs at my very soul and silently demands naught anything less than eternal loyalty and devotion....... it is purity and honesty at its height...... every time the water grazes my feet, there is a calm that envelopes me..... there is no one this wonderful, that invites you for an adventure of a lifetime but promises nothing..... my greatest desire is to have my own sail boat and set to sea....... some may scoff, others may think it impossible....... it may be true but when has blind love seen reason?

The Dominoes of Thought...

As i'm starting to write........ i have numerous thoughts in my mind....... so many things that i think would be interesting to say........ but not all of them connect too well..... so i keep backspacing....... i wonder if this is how all people think, or is it just a few?........ i never could relate to the person who said that they had their thoughts all organised and sorted...... right through childhood, I was one of the most distracted and scatterbrained...... a title that i haven't relinquished....... but its almost like, along with age, it has evolved as well......... i find my head wandering from one thing to another...... i find it hard to complete a chain of thought...... its very easy and very natural to jump from one thing to another...... some might call it flaky...... some might call it absentminded...... or just plain careless - although that's not my best description of it...... sometimes its even like there's no particular point im making - either none or too many!........

a friend described my thought process as a chain reaction that goes off on a trigger........ its almost like a row of dominoes falling...... someone pushes one and it all comes tumbling one on top of the other....... while in some ways entertaining, it can be quite a mess as well........... even this post..... i haven't said anything really..... no particular conclusion, just some observations along the long and arduous path....

4 weeks - Still no Job!

I'm at this crazy juncture...... as i have nothing to do..... all sort of ideas are flowing in and out of my head...... see by this time, I figured I would have a job - but i dont..... and somehow I'm not as bummed as I thought I would be....... It's probably because of all this time - its taking a toll on my perspective..... hmm...... or maybe i just don't want to work yet..... thats not completely true, I do want to earn my own money.... but not by hard core working.... at least not yet.... and im a little buzzed about what I should do....... ill let you in, on some things I've considered..... I thought of studying ahead - but the only place i want to is pretty expensive and I would like to earn a good chunk of my fees........

I thought of travelling around - a great idea, but again with my own money, which means i need a job (its because of that im thinking so in the 1st place!)

I thought I'll learn sailing...... something ive always wanted to learn...... and i figured i'll take the chance...... - but even that turns out to be very steep.....

so basically...... im stuck with no money!........ im sure my folks would help me out...... but thats not the point - without earning it, its not making the impact it should.......

it just seems like yesterday we were in Goa and wanted to open a shack and live by the beach.... happier times...... maybe something that will materialise someday...... but till then I'll be stuck in my memories and you'll be stuck whenever you last had that moment......

walking ahead...

now ill be very honest..... like i have been throughout..... but this is more in the spirit of confession..... all around you, there are people who want to do something in life....... be something in life....... there are people who spend their entire lives working towards that goal.... and there are people who spend their entire life in pursuit of that goal......

but.... lets just consider a privileged class of people who already know what they want....... but they are having trouble stepping into it..... why? - thats an interesting question especially since this is what you want to do.... now i can say there are a million reasons or excuses you can shoot off for this....... your lazy....... your not sure if the time is right...... maybe you should study more....... i just don't have that 'feeling' yet...... now in such a scenario i would say..... maybe this isn't what you really want...... its kind of like a signal from within..... and i would completely agree with that line of thought if i didn't spend almost every spare minute unconsciously talking about the very same thing....... if i couldn't picture myself, ever so vividly doing exactly what I'm hesitating to do right now....... if i hadn't already woven this into a part of my life..... i probably would have agreed that i may have taken the wrong turn....... but as i keep thinking.... dreaming...... realizing....... the way ahead seems so much clearer........

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance − Bruce Barton

El Viajero - The Traveller

I keep on hearing this one thing from every other person i meet - " I love to travel"..... it has become the cliche of the century..... its almost as if you are incomplete as a human being without it....... but i suppose it has evolved into a part of our everyday lives..... where we no longer have the boundaries that our predecessors had........ and in the ever changing scenario, people have started to exercise a very universal love of seeking something new......

while i completely understand that..... is that what 'travel' is?...... a lot of the people who "love to travel" tell me their plans and i cant help but wonder if along with time, its definition has evolved as well....... when i was in picturesque Europe...... a place that is literally crafted for a traveller..... where ones luggage should be - a single bag and a truckload of curiosity...... as i sat and looked at the enchanting sights, a slightly less interested fellow "traveller" couldn't wait to buy a handbag...... and this was not a Calfskin bag that is a speciality of Rome, but a knockoff bag from "PRADO"......

but maybe i am biased as I have no interest in handbags whatsoever..... but can we call her a traveller? ....... on another occasion I had the opportunity to speak to a "globetrotting" couple...... they have touched every continent and aim to reach every nook and corner...... but then comes the biggest let down - the best part - they say was.... "the spa".......... my face fell immediately..... if this was a treatment they took in the Dead Sea - thats a different story altogether!..... but this was just a regular 5 star hotel spa treatment, maybe with a few local herbs thrown in....... and you had to spend air travel to and fro for that?.........

maybe in this sense im a little bit of a puritan..... i believe a true traveller is one that comes back with blisters on their feet - from walking the lanes of the city...... tan from the sun that didn't hinder their journey...... and a twinkle in the eye when they tell you a hundred stories they've picked up on the way...... these stories are of great pride to the traveller and its great to hear......... they may forget their pin number but they won't forget the smell that came from the brewery when they were in Brussels....... the traveller may not have a lot of money in their pocket.... matter of fact, in most cases, dont have a lot of money in their pockets..... because they believe that to truly experience a place, you must live like their average local....... they love to speak to the people and also love to blend in by speaking the language........ spend as much time you want with them..... they may even let you rip them off a little but please don't call them 'a tourist'..... i truly believe the worn out traveller bears an aversion to this title...... for one thing, we want to blend in, not stand out...... when we walk down the street, we do not mindlessly take pictures in front of the most widely recognised landmark so as to prove we were there, completely ignoring the most charming street vendor........ our souvenirs are ticket stubs, wrappers of the local chocolates and our fortune that we took from the lady with the parrot and not miniatures of the same building we took a picture of....... we are like curious students trying to learn from the place..... we are like clay that is waiting to be moulded into the environment...... and there would be no greater joy than being considered one with the city, even if it is just for one magical moment.....

at the same time..... it is not right that i judge someones choice of how to spend their time and money.... that is true, each to their own........ its up to you if you want to spend your time shopping, in the spa and at the golf course.... but do not call yourself a traveller......

........ i will leave you with a fascinating quote by Eduardo Úrculo, the man who built El Viajero ("The Traveller", 1992) - a statue dedicated to the traveller in Oviedo, Spain...

"Life is the image of the romantic traveller, always turning away with his luggage. The face is what least interests me about the body, the back is more universal."........

Unemployment Woes

Now, what happens when you've just graduated from college..... and you think that maybe higher studies is not something you want to do...... atleast for now....... you would think that there are tons of options......

you could travel around..... go backpacking...... enjoying the benefits of youth that is free of the shackles of responsibilities....... do things you only dreamed of..... eat things you may never have dared to...... talk to complete strangers and share with them a page of your life, knowing that you may never see them again...... and take back with you a lifetimes experience.....

you could also decide that maybe its time to give back to the society...... enroll yourself into such an organisation....... and lend a hand to any cause....... you could spend time in an old age home..... maybe rehabilitation work...... or if you feel humankind is unworthy of charity - there are a multitude of endangered species you can give a voice to........

if your still looking for something different...... you could take up a new hobby...... pitch into the family business....... learn a new language...... do a vocational course........ or you could just do what I intend on doing - getting a job!

But heres the tricky part....... you cant exactly go and sign up for it or buy it from the market (it sucks, right?)...... you run around all day long...... or just sit on your derriere all day long....... waiting for a phone call or an e-mail....... and with the current state of your luck - its a service message or spam!....... and you sit at home, eating yourself off your non-employment status...... and the worst part is..... when you try to take your mind off of it...... you have ever complying relatives who talk about a 'silver lining' that is long overdue....... and friends give you the 'hang in there' speech - the fact that they are employed after rejecting multiple job offers, doesn't really help!..........

so... here we are....... not knowing what to do next........... thinking whether we should have just taken a hike somewhere...........