Friday, December 16, 2011

...Desirable Traits...

.......hasn't there been an instance when your talking to a friend..... see a stranger on the road....... and wish "God, I wish I could do that".... I've had many such instances where someones innate qualities have impressed me to the extent that I wish I was blessed with it...... so today, i thought i could talk about many such things that I wish I'd been........ one of them is a positive attitude - I'm kind of notorious for being pessimistic (although I still maintain that its called being a realist!)...... in a world full of people who look at life oh so practically and are eager to throw you with the realities of life...... these people with an amazing faith in the universe are such a welcome treat..... who at even the most dark crossroads come with a blaring flashlight...... sometimes I wonder how they do it........ seems simple enough yet I couldn't be more elusive to it...... even when things just don't seem to work out - they seem to be able to look at it in a way that I've been perennially blind..... sometimes its encouraging, sometimes it seems like a sweet nothing to make you smile....... but either way you have to appreciate how they do it........... I mean if everyone thought like me all the time - you'd find somebody down in the dumps at every corner...... and why waste this fleeting life in such self deprecating moments.....
          ...... another marvelous feat i've been a spectator to many a times....... I'm almost tragically disabled when it comes to being assertive...... its not that I cannot.... but there's an organ as physical as my kidney or lungs that filters it out..... i think and i picture myself being this dictator that throws the collective weight of me and the entire country to get what they want...... i'm able to imagine being so verbose about it...... but when it comes to the actual performance, i seem to have lost my infinite vocabulary and draw an embarrassing blank...... and to put salt in your wounds there'll be someone who walks a few steps behind you that glides past you to grab the last seat..... you'd think this is the life changing moment.... where you finally remember the words and rise like the phoenix..... alas - such dramatic victory, I couldn't achieve....

                                                  .......I'd like to think of these 2 qualities as the barricades that stop me from conquering the world....... what stops me from pursuing eternal happiness when now I have to settle for snatches..... us helpless souls have to make it in a world of fierce go getters where nobody knows where to draw the line...... it seems ironic to talk of democracy or free speech...... 
                                                                               

Monday, November 28, 2011

Comfort, my luxury...


Yesterday... out of all things I could have done (ok when i say all - it means this and sleep) I chose to watch Sex and The City 2 (The Movie)... a friend had made me watch the previous movie and not having seen the iconic series, any subtle or not so subtle references were lost on me.... but i don't think I missed much.... It started off as colourful and extravagant as you would think..... fancy apartments, indulgent clothes, privileges galore...... many things happened and these 4 women land in Abu Dhabi..... and at this point it becomes a little difficult for me...... not that up till this point it was easy..... but i managed...... words like luxury and decadence fail to resonate the lifestyle that was portrayed..... amidst all that wealth and exorbitance there was this other sense lurking about..... it was hard not to miss but could easily have been..... it was this sheer obscenity...... maybe im alone on this one..... its not very often that i cringe when i see something that doesn't involve merciless hacking...... but this was one of them...... maybe its because i somewhere believe in balance that such excess was as repulsive as poverty........ it showed you the side of the world created by money..... the side of the world many would kill for..... but i forever more, hope to remain an alien to this side......... for its the simple things in life that bring joy rather than all the diamonds one can buy......... the comfort of being well fed, staying under a good roof and not having to worry too much about a rainy tomorrow is my luxury.....

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Where are The Good Old Days?

In an increasingly competitive world, whose demands are not just perfection but its highest degree - i have become lost in oblivion.... not knowing what you want can be a dangerous state.... your helpless and terrified...... its almost like you have nothing..... which in a sense is true..... I always took for granted the time where I didn't have to worry about so many things..... when all that was left to do at the end of the day is finishing your homework or cleaning your room...... but then I was rapt with these dreamy ideas of what being an adult would be like...... how i would be part of a crazy web of endless nights spent wiling away my youth and the wee hours meeting deadlines and earning my bread....
....now when your at that point, it becomes hard to accept that no book or film matched that kind of dramatic fiction..... now it seems like your stuck and good times are but memories...... it seems like I'm craving for those moments in the past that doesn't make me afraid or tired....... when it didn't matter if I couldn't figure something out..... it was ok..... I was just a child...

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Just another Tuesday


it probably doesn't come as a great surprise for someone who's read the previous posts, when I say that I'm still clueless...... but i just can't seem to help it.... its almost..... 'Devilish in its innocence' - i don't know how many of you realise who this was originally directed to..... but that's not even half as important as the depth these words carry...... of late..... or rather for the past 2 decades..... i have great joy in reminiscing the pictures and sounds from films.... books..... songs and the biggest spectacle - routine life..... and you come across these very striking phrases or images or feelings that somehow unconsciously register deep in your memory bank......... i particularly remember this scene from a TV show I used to watch as a kid and when i had the chance to see it again a few days ago (that's a good decade later)...... i remembered that time when i was a kid - i remember my house.... the chair i was sitting in..... even that it was dimly lit and sometime in the late afternoon.... and all of these details rush to the surface making it something like my very own Episode of the Madeleine or more suitably - Episode of the Television...... but you must come across such things more often than we think.... like a TV episode..... this wonderful phrase i started off with....... an odd childhood memory...... or even the title of a song..... this one took my fancy the moment i heard it...... called..... Send Me The Pillow That You Dream On...... quite a lovely thing to say...... almost engineered to melt the symbolic human heart to butter...... needless to say, the singer was more than successful..... Now in the presence of such an infinite sphere of such delicate and profound elements.... many that i'm not even close to comprehending..... can you blame me entirely for not wanting to look for something as fearfully restrictive as employment?

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Late Night 'Rumbling'

now all of us are human...... we enjoy the good things in life..... we enjoy a great place to go to....... we enjoy a great tune to tap our feet along with....... and arguably, the best of all..... we enjoy a great meal....... there's nothing like a good plate of grub to put a smile on your face..... now some of us like to wine and dine in luxury..... others prefer a cosy, comfy, home cooked delight..... but i don't know if any one truly appreciates the satisfying feeling you get with the best meal of the day -
The Late Night Snack!
Now, mothers across the globe are frowning....... they'll be saying things like "spoil your appetite"...... "your being a glutton"....... "not giving your digestive system a rest"......... while all these may be true....... it doesn't come in the way of the solace, someone gets by reheating the cold pizza....... its late and your up because your upset, you have a deadline, your too happy or you just can't sleep......... now in this time of nocturnal distress - who gives you company? a steaming Maggi noodles.... many a hostel inmates are nodding with me now...... in your anxious 'hours before exam' moment - biting into a crunchy biscuit gives you a much needed break........ when your spending the wee hours discussing everything under the sun with your friends - sharing a huge cheesy bowl of pasta only adds to the timelessness of this moment........ or you just couldn't wait till morning for the simple joy of - bread and jam........
now we all eat reasonably well, some more than others but anyway........ we all pretty much get hot, edible and timely meals........ maybe thats why the Late Nighter is so special...... it breaks away from the monotony of your regular BLD (breakfast lunch dinner)...... it doesn't stick to a carbohydrate/protein/fat count......... and more so - it has an element of surprise..... because at that point...... when you screen the fridge and rummage through the cupboards you never know whether you'll find a bag of chips...... or a culinary masterpiece...........


Image - "Late Night Snack" - John LaGatta

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Whoops....

Everybody has got traits that... lets just say... they'd like to polish over....... its something that you almost have no control over...... its probably the ever successful capacity to always put your foot (and everyone elses) in your mouth.......... maybe its that you always get the punchline half an hour later or worse - after the last person stops laughing........ or maybe its just impulsive childishness that rises and sinks at its own convenience........ its caused us many a embarrassing moments...... ones you fear will always crowd your consciousness and be a constant reminder to the oddball you may be.....
..... but as most literary works at this juncture goes - you realise they are just right..... matter of fact, they can even be considered some sort of a quirk...... i mean, not all of them have to be cute and rustic like always smelling the pages of a book before reading it..... or borderline OCD like only eat mints in even numbers!....... truth is, it is these very factors that make us who we are..... and give us an identity beyond our name..........
...while these are the characteristics we would hate to be associated with... its intrinsic to us...... sometimes we so admire the opposing quality that we find it hard to accept that we are not so........ but its time we called a spade, a spade...... i have, embarrassingly enough, on multiple occasions not been as subtle as i would hope to be....... what can i say, unconsciously ill let my fingers glide through my hair and at times be flirtatiously charming.... but then someone comes along and i can't help but foolishly smile so wide - even if they were talking about panda bears being slaughtered!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

...blank...

There comes a point in everyone's life where...... we realise that things are not the way we imagined them to be...... despite living through that very reality, day in day out...... we seem mysteriously oblivious to it...... and its the very odd co-incidences that becomes your wake up call....... its a little rough..... like when a semi-successful jingle writer realises that he's not the musician he thought he was....... like a closet beauty queen shot down by one of her most faithful admirers...... like a Ph.D. who is facing the fact, that they aren't changing the world as they thought they would, in an elementary classroom........ its a time for confusion....... a time for pondering......... a time hopefully for coming up with an answer........ the courage to move on or get back up your feet.......... at this point its a daze really...... cant say I like this situation, where I finally fully grasp - what it is to be completely blank...


Friday, September 2, 2011

Lazy and Alone?

After a much awaited and satisfying period of employment..... I find myself in the "in-between jobs" stage.... additionally, I've also found myself experiencing how it would be to live alone....... its a very comfortable and idyllic residential space...... where the only glitch to a perfect home-owners experience is a little water flooding in if it rains too much........ not a huge problem, considering some of the places I've seen and lived in...... but more than anything, its an insight as to what my life would be - if I choose to live alone at any point of time........
.....Although capable of long gruelling hours of work with practically no break in between..... deep within me resides a lazy soul..... who thinks of late mornings..... slow afternoons.... and a relaxed evening that merges seamlessly into the night..... while your alone..... one gets to experience this wonderful transition at your own pace...... but there comes a point where this blessed existence becomes so monotonous that you really feel that your spoiling the spirit of 'Laziness' by being too lazy...... similarly as much as I appreciate the solo living..... its true worth lies in the fact that its a treat you look forward to and not be your way of life itself...... there are many here who probably live alone and find it to be the best....... I agree, for a few days...... its like an old saying in my native language - " if in excess, even nectar is poison".......

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Who can say?

...sometimes, when we pause to take a breath or reluctantly accompany a friend to an unusual activity... we chance upon a very strange scenario...... often we are a part of this scenario or we are spectators to it...... either way it englobes (if there is such a word or not) us and makes us think.... or not think...... it acts as a sudden break from our normal passage of time........ such moments are not too hard to come by...... but they aren't always taken in the spirit it is intended...... i wonder if it can possibly be over-rated or under-rated..... although I don't think they can be perfectly rated..... they are much too surprising to be analysed in our full faculties...... or maybe they are beyond plebeian analysis...... its very funny how these startling moments can just whoosh past and one runs the risk of being too plebeian to even notice them.... i wonder if that is scary or a relief?..... who can say?....... but that must happen everyday..... we see it happening and don't give it a second thought - possibly not worth a thought....... or possibly worth every single one of them.... again, who can say?........... are these merely spots of fresh ink on an otherwise dry piece of paper....... is it just a drop of colour or a frisk of texture that makes us feel that life was after all worth it?........ who can say..... i certainly can't, i don't know if you can either.......













Saturday, July 30, 2011

Romance of Sail

...everyone who has had the privilege of being alive, has had a love affair........ it may be brief or last a lifetime....... passionate and sweeping or intense and lingering, more than often even a mixture of them........ everyone has had the opportunity to love and pine for it...... whether everyone may have this love fulfilled is a different story altogether....... when we are in this dense web of love, its impossible to get out and even more impossible to associate logic or reason......... its like a power is overcoming every sensation....... many of us delve into it headfirst, in that spirit of spontaneity it deserves..... a most exhilarating feeling...... now, this love affair may not always be associated with a person...... that is the mistake a lot of us commit, thinking that such overpowering love can only be towards another human being......
...... i've lost my heart to many a person...... i've been hopelessly infatuated and passionate about some..... but to this day, my strongest love affair is with the sea.... the most beautiful entity humanity has been blessed with....... there is something so simple and powerful about it - that makes me go weak....... for me, there exists no face that i can look at for hours on end....... there is nothing else that tugs at my very soul and silently demands naught anything less than eternal loyalty and devotion....... it is purity and honesty at its height...... every time the water grazes my feet, there is a calm that envelopes me..... there is no one this wonderful, that invites you for an adventure of a lifetime but promises nothing..... my greatest desire is to have my own sail boat and set to sea....... some may scoff, others may think it impossible....... it may be true but when has blind love seen reason?

Friday, July 29, 2011

The Dominoes of Thought...


As i'm starting to write........ i have numerous thoughts in my mind....... so many things that i think would be interesting to say........ but not all of them connect too well..... so i keep backspacing....... i wonder if this is how all people think, or is it just a few?........ i never could relate to the person who said that they had their thoughts all organised and sorted...... right through childhood, I was one of the most distracted and scatterbrained...... a title that i haven't relinquished....... but its almost like, along with age, it has evolved as well......... i find my head wandering from one thing to another...... i find it hard to complete a chain of thought...... its very easy and very natural to jump from one thing to another...... some might call it flaky...... some might call it absentminded...... or just plain careless - although that's not my best description of it...... sometimes its even like there's no particular point im making - either none or too many!........
a friend described my thought process as a chain reaction that goes off on a trigger........ its almost like a row of dominoes falling...... someone pushes one and it all comes tumbling one on top of the other....... while in some ways entertaining, it can be quite a mess as well........... even this post..... i haven't said anything really..... no particular conclusion, just some observations along the long and arduous path....

Saturday, July 23, 2011

4 weeks - Still no Job!

I'm at this crazy juncture...... as i have nothing to do..... all sort of ideas are flowing in and out of my head...... see by this time, I figured I would have a job - but i dont..... and somehow I'm not as bummed as I thought I would be....... It's probably because of all this time - its taking a toll on my perspective..... hmm...... or maybe i just don't want to work yet..... thats not completely true, I do want to earn my own money.... but not by hard core working.... at least not yet.... and im a little buzzed about what I should do....... ill let you in, on some things I've considered..... I thought of studying ahead - but the only place i want to is pretty expensive and I would like to earn a good chunk of my fees........
I thought of travelling around - a great idea, but again with my own money, which means i need a job (its because of that im thinking so in the 1st place!)
I thought I'll learn sailing...... something ive always wanted to learn...... and i figured i'll take the chance...... - but even that turns out to be very steep.....

so basically...... im stuck with no money!........ im sure my folks would help me out...... but thats not the point - without earning it, its not making the impact it should.......
it just seems like yesterday we were in Goa and wanted to open a shack and live by the beach.... happier times...... maybe something that will materialise someday...... but till then I'll be stuck in my memories and you'll be stuck whenever you last had that moment......

Sunday, July 17, 2011

walking ahead...

now ill be very honest..... like i have been throughout..... but this is more in the spirit of confession..... all around you, there are people who want to do something in life....... be something in life....... there are people who spend their entire lives working towards that goal.... and there are people who spend their entire life in pursuit of that goal......
but.... lets just consider a privileged class of people who already know what they want....... but they are having trouble stepping into it..... why? - thats an interesting question especially since this is what you want to do.... now i can say there are a million reasons or excuses you can shoot off for this....... your lazy....... your not sure if the time is right...... maybe you should study more....... i just don't have that 'feeling' yet...... now in such a scenario i would say..... maybe this isn't what you really want...... its kind of like a signal from within..... and i would completely agree with that line of thought if i didn't spend almost every spare minute unconsciously talking about the very same thing....... if i couldn't picture myself, ever so vividly doing exactly what I'm hesitating to do right now....... if i hadn't already woven this into a part of my life..... i probably would have agreed that i may have taken the wrong turn....... but as i keep thinking.... dreaming...... realizing....... the way ahead seems so much clearer........










Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance Bruce Barton

Thursday, July 7, 2011

El Viajero - The Traveller

I keep on hearing this one thing from every other person i meet - " I love to travel"..... it has become the cliche of the century..... its almost as if you are incomplete as a human being without it....... but i suppose it has evolved into a part of our everyday lives..... where we no longer have the boundaries that our predecessors had........ and in the ever changing scenario, people have started to exercise a very universal love of seeking something new......
while i completely understand that..... is that what 'travel' is?...... a lot of the people who "love to travel" tell me their plans and i cant help but wonder if along with time, its definition has evolved as well....... when i was in picturesque Europe...... a place that is literally crafted for a traveller..... where ones luggage should be - a single bag and a truckload of curiosity...... as i sat and looked at the enchanting sights, a slightly less interested fellow "traveller" couldn't wait to buy a handbag...... and this was not a Calfskin bag that is a speciality of Rome, but a knockoff bag from "PRADO"......
but maybe i am biased as I have no interest in handbags whatsoever..... but can we call her a traveller? ....... on another occasion I had the opportunity to speak to a "globetrotting" couple...... they have touched every continent and aim to reach every nook and corner...... but then comes the biggest let down - the best part - they say was.... "the spa".......... my face fell immediately..... if this was a treatment they took in the Dead Sea - thats a different story altogether!..... but this was just a regular 5 star hotel spa treatment, maybe with a few local herbs thrown in....... and you had to spend air travel to and fro for that?.........

maybe in this sense im a little bit of a puritan..... i believe a true traveller is one that comes back with blisters on their feet - from walking the lanes of the city...... tan from the sun that didn't hinder their journey...... and a twinkle in the eye when they tell you a hundred stories they've picked up on the way...... these stories are of great pride to the traveller and its great to hear......... they may forget their pin number but they won't forget the smell that came from the brewery when they were in Brussels....... the traveller may not have a lot of money in their pocket.... matter of fact, in most cases, dont have a lot of money in their pockets..... because they believe that to truly experience a place, you must live like their average local....... they love to speak to the people and also love to blend in by speaking the language........ spend as much time you want with them..... they may even let you rip them off a little but please don't call them 'a tourist'..... i truly believe the worn out traveller bears an aversion to this title...... for one thing, we want to blend in, not stand out...... when we walk down the street, we do not mindlessly take pictures in front of the most widely recognised landmark so as to prove we were there, completely ignoring the most charming street vendor........ our souvenirs are ticket stubs, wrappers of the local chocolates and our fortune that we took from the lady with the parrot and not miniatures of the same building we took a picture of....... we are like curious students trying to learn from the place..... we are like clay that is waiting to be moulded into the environment...... and there would be no greater joy than being considered one with the city, even if it is just for one magical moment.....
at the same time..... it is not right that i judge someones choice of how to spend their time and money.... that is true, each to their own........ its up to you if you want to spend your time shopping, in the spa and at the golf course.... but do not call yourself a traveller......
........ i will leave you with a fascinating quote by Eduardo √örculo, the man who built El Viajero ("The Traveller", 1992) - a statue dedicated to the traveller in Oviedo, Spain...

"Life is the image of the romantic traveller, always turning away with his luggage. The face is what least interests me about the body, the back is more universal."........






Unemployment Woes


Now, what happens when you've just graduated from college..... and you think that maybe higher studies is not something you want to do...... atleast for now....... you would think that there are tons of options......
you could travel around..... go backpacking...... enjoying the benefits of youth that is free of the shackles of responsibilities....... do things you only dreamed of..... eat things you may never have dared to...... talk to complete strangers and share with them a page of your life, knowing that you may never see them again...... and take back with you a lifetimes experience.....
you could also decide that maybe its time to give back to the society...... enroll yourself into such an organisation....... and lend a hand to any cause....... you could spend time in an old age home..... maybe rehabilitation work...... or if you feel humankind is unworthy of charity - there are a multitude of endangered species you can give a voice to........
if your still looking for something different...... you could take up a new hobby...... pitch into the family business....... learn a new language...... do a vocational course........ or you could just do what I intend on doing - getting a job!

But heres the tricky part....... you cant exactly go and sign up for it or buy it from the market (it sucks, right?)...... you run around all day long...... or just sit on your derriere all day long....... waiting for a phone call or an e-mail....... and with the current state of your luck - its a service message or spam!....... and you sit at home, eating yourself off your non-employment status...... and the worst part is..... when you try to take your mind off of it...... you have ever complying relatives who talk about a 'silver lining' that is long overdue....... and friends give you the 'hang in there' speech - the fact that they are employed after rejecting multiple job offers, doesn't really help!..........
so... here we are....... not knowing what to do next........... thinking whether we should have just taken a hike somewhere...........

Monday, July 4, 2011

Not your regular dodge-ball...


Now of late.... due to long hours of television.... it seems like, anything and everything boils down to what kind of man/woman you like or want...... everyone will agree that it is a tricky business and you must tread carefully...... its about so many things, that people before wouldn't think about...... all these different terms like "compatibility", "understanding", "connection" are like dodge-balls flying all over the place and we are desperately looking for cover......
i'll be honest, i dont want to be hit by the dodge-ball..... for obvious reasons
1. It hurts and
2. Your out of the game!.....
not that I'm much of a player.......... but its good to know that you have options..... But it seems in recent times people have gone much too risque while playing....... there are many things i can neither understand nor appreciate...... as I feel there are certain factors which should be a part of any relationship....
honesty - always be clear of your intentions, however innocent or otherwise, they may be........
trust - that when someone says they didn't get drunk in a party, you don't run a surveillance check on their activities 'just to be sure'....
comfort zone - if you are not comfortable enough to be in your own skin with this person, it is not a relationship with much of feelings being shared.........

as simple and cliched as these factors may be...... they are actually the most rare and precious........ probably why people like me dont believe, in this day and age, such relationships work...... its sad.... but true.....
But that doesnt stop an ever optimistic crowd from dreaming or creating their hybrid partner...... and in light of such a moment, i think i will indulge......

I dont care for chivalry.... a lot of women find it a very desirable trait.... but its like being treated like a fragile vase.... not up my alley.......

Charming is good but excessive charming means - your trouble!..... this is not your first time and clearly won't be your last..... and chances are that whatever you said will not be taken at face value....

It is said that the brilliant plumage of a peacock acts as a visual display to attract potential mates.... such colourful display only works for a peacock!..... there are the occasional few who pull off a splash of colour (just a splash!) but thats the exception......

There should be something to talk about and not how fat your paycheck is or how your mother absolutely dotes on you..... but something that both enjoy or atleast one enjoys listening to..... Bottom Line- if you cant hold a conversation, you cant hold a relationship......

some women like macho....... some like sensitive...... some like people who will write them epic poetry........... but nothing beats your funny guy..... theres something about a person who can make you laugh...... its disarming, its hard to resist and it usually means that it will atleast stand a chance of being a friendship........

theres also something about a man who is persistent...... the one who very subtly refuses to back out..... do not confuse the kinds for the ones that are in your face all the time..... or who don't understand NO.... they are the ones that despite your crazy, irrational fears - stick around and give a damn!.......
I would like to end this almost surrealistic session with a quote by Art Cooper -

"When I was a young man, I had a mentor on women and he said when you meet a woman that you think you like, don't ask her for a drink. Take her out for a bowl of soup. Because a woman who can enjoy a bowl of soup is bound to be more interesting."

P.S - As you probably may have guessed, I love soup!


Saturday, July 2, 2011

I spy...


......When you watch a really slick detective show or a mystery movie.... you must have noticed the part where the detective either proves their worth by giving you details of your life that they figured out by observing you, how your dressed, your mannerisms etc ..... where with one swift sweeping look they go through seemingly obvious tell-tale signs regarding your personality, obsessions, whether your lying or not etc or...... where they skilfully piece together a complex puzzle with attention to detail or common sense!...... of course in most cases the credit goes to sharp script and dialogue writers...... but all based on a very real capacity of observation......
I've always found this one of the most fascinating traits to possess...... unfortunately, this is when the phrase "you either have it or you don't" becomes apt...... I, pitifully enough, have tried many times to soak in more from an environment or person..... but its not something i have gained proficiency in..... after a point it evolves into being an art form..... where you naturally screen the things that you are looking for and are necessary...... Generations of professionals and con artists have made much more than bread and butter on the basis of these skills...... it is is probably the one trait, I shall ever be truly jealous of......


Picture Courtesy - http://driftingxnowhere.tumblr.com/ & Amber Haines

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

My Dear Coquet...


.... The coquets of both sexes are self-lovers, and that is a love no other whatever can dispossess.....

- John Gay (The Beggar's Opera)

It is slightly unfair to start on such a narcissistic note but on the other hand that is something they have had to face from society and its members..... before anything, for all those who may not know, a Coquet is someone who behaves flirtatiously with no serious intention.... now this definition alone is enough to attract a few and tick off a few.... but please, do not judge them...... they are perhaps blamed, even more than their brazen and promiscuous counterparts..... some even refuse to acknowledge a distinction...... while both are to be given their due respect, they aren't the same.... they are different ball games altogether...... the coquets by nature look for fun and light hearted interactions..... they move freely and while they do push the envelope - eventually there is a line they will not let you or anyone cross...... it may be one of the most irksome features of the coquet...... they walk uninhibited by the inherent rules and boundaries created by society..... they dont believe in such lines, or atleast they feel they are a little blurred.......
You may even be able to spot the coquet.... they are the men who walk with a confident stride who personally and tastefully respond to the approving looks of each onlooker..... they are the women who run their fingers through her wild free hair and smiles most becomingly at both the businessman who crosses her path and the cobbler she passes alongside....... what is most attractive about them is their unabashed straightforwardness coupled with their wit and charm....... they are not all supermodel looks, they may not even be in their prime..... but what you do find common amongst them is the frivolous spontaneity, a complete disregard towards commitment, drunk with the idea of love - which they prefer to keep as just an 'idea' and a tantalizing love for The Chase..... but often for these very endearing faculties they are labelled and looked down upon..... but they can't really help it and its not that they haven't tried...... its true, chances are they have broken a few hearts and expectations.... but you know, they never told you to build castles in the air..... they are sad that they lead you along without intending to but don't like fingers being unduly pointed at them...... after all, they never said they were looking for a commitment.... why blame them for your misunderstanding...... and its even worse when you associate this nature with their friendships and professional relationships...... they are friends that are just as reliable and professionals just as competent...... they prefer to be perceived as callous rather than telling you something that they know will never happen.......
............but thats the vicious underbelly they hope will change someday..... but neither does it keep them from living their life...... for a coquet all that is much too serious to actually follow..... and it acts as a deterrent to their ways that are strongly governed by their individuality.... while they are all respectable, serious and completely reliable when it comes to work and responsibility...... in matters of the heart either be really sure or it is always best to take their words and actions with a pinch of salt...... they are ingrained with the spirit of the wild horse that cannot be tamed, who desires nothing more than to enjoy their journey rather than focus on the destination........

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Want

... to want... is the most dangerous feeling ever...... sometimes its in the form of trivialities like chocolates, short trips, things and momentary feelings.... but some of them develop into this obsessive compulsion that take control over us..... so many times you've told yourself that its not going to happen........you can't get that...... its not meant to be..... its not practical........ its not good for you...... .but all these excuses pale in comparison to this blazing desire of yours..... where reason, playing fair and cest la vie are merely words that mean nothing to you..... these are things that teach you a lot about yourself..... there are many who in their own pace and method eventually get over these fierce wants..... sometimes all it takes is time to cool this ardor and you can resume to normalcy........ other times something better comes along or something takes its place altogether.... distractions and busy schedules do wonders and can be considered the penultimate prescription for this disease.......
......... but most fearful it is when they don't let go at all and there is no hope for any such remedies....... we hope for something to happen or discover a completely new remedy and restore some faith in the universes capacity to eventually make everything alright..... but when the process is delayed or doesn't result in anything at all..... it leads to undesirable outcomes....... one must have the capacity to control ones own wants and desires.... otherwise such objects
should never stray before them, for they are sure to go for the saying that the only way to rid temptation, is to yield to it........

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

...Another Chapter Begins...

......... College is done........ end of possibly the most vibrant and carefree chapter....... a little unfair to say that this would be the end of fun and spontaneity altogether..... theres much more to come...... and much more to experience..... that is to say if i dont get run over by a truck or something.... that would just be a very sad and abrupt ending, i wouldn't wish for anyone...... at the brink of something, before i have delved into anything...... this is a very prominent albeit a little lazy moment!...... at home, figuring out your next step - not something too confusing as the next step is to find a job...... one that gives you a little satisfaction, means to survive and something to do........ but i fear that ill also be one in those list of people who say that they dont know where their years went........... some people say that this is the time to put in as much work and struggle you possibly can and draw the returns when your older......... that seems like a fairly practical and a biologically sound cycle..... but what point is there in your youth, if you cant enjoy it...... what point is there in your youth if you cant sit back and take advantage of the most desired phase of life...... what point is there in your youth if you dont have fun and make mistakes that is fodder for many joyful afternoons when your old....... i dont agree that we should just work away the best years of our life..... its not fair to us, its not fair to the creator (if you believe in one) who crafted this phase just so that you can feel what it is to be alive...... the energy, the rush - all the good and bad of it......
Theres so much more to this time than I may even be able to comprehend.... a lot of things to do...... some you want to and some you have to..... but then didn't everyone feel this way.... i doubt the woman who sits on the same table everyday, doing the same routine day after day has her dream fulfilled........ i wonder.... theres a whole life left, and before you go to work there seems to be so much to do before responsibilities, bills etc etc........ its almost cruel to dream .... of painting canvas after canvas......... of rigging my boat to sail through and maybe fish a little on the journey...... of reading books and when you've read enough watch film after film...... when you've had your fill of literature....... maybe drive down picturesque roads after you've navigated your way through many bumpy and smoky city roads......... Budweiser at your favourite pub........ and many such beautiful moments that'll stand the test of time and you'll remember like it was yesterday even when you turn 80.....
........But Such is Life....... as they say...... and we must move on..... its a tragedy that we cant stay frozen in time..... but then if there is a creator he wouldn't be happy with a world full of college goers drunk on beer and maybe a little too high on happiness.......

Monday, April 25, 2011

...Mistakes...

..."I made a mistake"... how often have we heard that?... rather, how often have we said that.... its just sad that - we'll never really know, whether this time is really the last time we make this error in judgement... somehow, its a little nerve wrecking to realize or be aware of the fact this is not the last time you'll be making an embarrassing misunderstanding or a foolish incredible thought... after a point its just really stressful... right now - the best way to put it across is that I'm tired... of these misunderstandings, foolish as well as childish hopes - that in a different or even normal state of mind you'd be able to clearly distinguish... These are the real remedies to which mankind must strive for answers...... seems like a plebeian problem to focus so much energy and resources on..... but when you really think about it - once we are rid of such seemingly trivial problems - we'd be a much more sorted out lot and can actually be in the frame of mind to tackle poverty, hunger and world peace.........

Friday, April 8, 2011

Ode to the Cruel Lover

When we read a story..... any kind of story...... there are different ways it ends....... theres the ever popular but rare and unrealistic - Happy Ending...... or the more common and real but heart wrenching - Sad Ending....... theres the story that has no definite ending and makes the reader ponder and think about its end..... and then theres the unfinished ending....... where everything has stopped abruptly and a cruel and eternally stinging ending.....
             Mostly love stories with such endings are widely read for their different content or they are read by people who have gone through such an experience themselves and can relate to......... or maybe their just looking for some closure...... or an idea of what to do...... or because they know that they are not alone and that there are many other cruel lovers and their heartbroken counterparts........... the heartbroken lover is saddened deeply and goes on leading their tragic period..... they are comforted by friend and family...... they are shown the brighter side or hidden opportunity...... they are also reassured of exactly how heinous their cruel lover was..... In some cases the heartbroken lover realizes that and becomes a hater of the opposite sex or just that one person who has spoiled their idea of love - this becomes something they live with forever or till they meet the lover that makes it disappear......... Or the heartbroken lover understands and harbours no ill feeling..... and to such lovers I proclaim my eternal gratitude and affection - for they are the true deservers.
                                                                                But we rarely look at the cruel lover who has wrenched away the happiness for whatever reason..... maybe they, as Shakespeare put it found an "alteration" - in which case can we blame them for finding someone better suited to them?........ of course that depends how exactly they committed the crime....... maybe they just got bored - How dare they!....... but even to that what can you  say but that they fell out of love........ is it to be blamed? - are you not to be blamed for thinking it was true love?........... there are many permutations and combinations of lovers..... but by far the worst is the cruel lover who had to put an end to their love for the sake of themselves and the other....... to save the two of further grief and complexity........ recognising that love alone was not enough to stay together and that the many other factors that made it a union, were in conflict............ the cruel lover who knew it wouldn't last till the end of time and to make sure the last moments were of joy and not anger...... the cruel lover who hopes in time their beloved will eventually rise above from this grief and live a life of happiness and content, possibly with another more suited........ but to find out that the heartbroken lover is ever understanding and doesn't demand your love but only your happiness wherever it may be........... what does the cruel lover do now?....... except put on a mask and live every moment joyously, daring not to think back of their heartbroken lover and their memories together........ for who knows, maybe all the masks in the universe will not hide their misery......

Monday, April 4, 2011

... may everyday feel like a Holiday...


Holiday – such a lovely word… A word that creates an entire series in your head, of things you will do, see and experience. From sleeping in the finest sheets Belgium can offer to feeling every grain of sand on the sunset beaches of Algarve. The term holiday doesn’t give credit to the feeling it stirs within every individual – each different but equally desired. A holiday is kind of like Spring Love that rejuvenates and gives new meaning to an otherwise dreary morning. It puts a warm smile that was trapped beneath the icy reality you carried on your face. Holidays are not just about going to places and enjoying the 'new' sights and sounds – but anything that you have wanted so much to do but couldn’t because of all the routine elements of your life. So your holiday just might be taking a few days off work with late mornings and afternoons spent in the maze of a library and finished off with a midnight cup of coffee in front of a crackling fireplace. Even while thinking of taking a holiday, your mind has already broken free of the shackles of the ordinary. Even as you’re taking the same route, you hear the sound of your shoes on the cobbled streets – a sweet and unfamiliar sound that is more melodious than the greatest symphonies of all time. While booking tickets you are already smiling thinking of the trance the Spanish guitar will take you into. On your way to the station or airport you’re already licking your lips at the thought of the heavy cream that is generously smothered on your pastry, which you will order in a couple of hours. You’ve already thought of souvenirs you will buy at a store or keep the local station ticket stub as one. It’s strangely drawing you into this wonderful world of dreams and possibilities that may change your life or just bring out the smile that’s been patiently waiting to break out…     

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

March 3rd, 2011 - Untitled

At the risk of being accused of using this space as a frustration outlet, I dare to proceed............... The dreamers always get the short end of the deal...... for no fault of their on - except that they were born that way...... how far can you blame it on them - 'Hey you were born practical and realistic, being able to assess what is plausible and not - Not everyone is born like that'........ What do the Dreamers do? Well... very simply put - they dream...... and it seems like in the surreal space where they saw it happen - anything is possible........ and everything is possible........... we build structures.....we grow with nature......... we give birth to an escapists dream destination.....
                     But then we come crashing back...... with the sound of an all too realistic and pragmatic clock, the unsympathetic and careless hands of friend or mother and sometimes awoken after the inebriated stupor of your surreal state wears off...... sigh.... thats the worst of them all......... Its almost like you can't take it anymore and you voluntarily walk into the world....... I don't know anymore - theres a clear distinction and no space for one in the other dimension..... Now what do we do about that....... When we sift through parallel existences and find that we have problems with both....... If we find two insatiable, How will we be at peace with one?