Whoops....

Everybody has got traits that... lets just say... they'd like to polish over....... its something that you almost have no control over...... its probably the ever successful capacity to always put your foot (and everyone elses) in your mouth.......... maybe its that you always get the punchline half an hour later or worse - after the last person stops laughing........ or maybe its just impulsive childishness that rises and sinks at its own convenience........ its caused us many a embarrassing moments...... ones you fear will always crowd your consciousness and be a constant reminder to the oddball you may be.....

..... but as most literary works at this juncture goes - you realise they are just right..... matter of fact, they can even be considered some sort of a quirk...... i mean, not all of them have to be cute and rustic like always smelling the pages of a book before reading it..... or borderline OCD like only eat mints in even numbers!....... truth is, it is these very factors that make us who we are..... and give us an identity beyond our name..........

...while these are the characteristics we would hate to be associated with... its intrinsic to us...... sometimes we so admire the opposing quality that we find it hard to accept that we are not so........ but its time we called a spade, a spade...... i have, embarrassingly enough, on multiple occasions not been as subtle as i would hope to be....... what can i say, unconsciously ill let my fingers glide through my hair and at times be flirtatiously charming.... but then someone comes along and i can't help but foolishly smile so wide - even if they were talking about panda bears being slaughtered!

...blank...

There comes a point in everyone's life where...... we realise that things are not the way we imagined them to be...... despite living through that very reality, day in day out...... we seem mysteriously oblivious to it...... and its the very odd co-incidences that becomes your wake up call....... its a little rough..... like when a semi-successful jingle writer realises that he's not the musician he thought he was....... like a closet beauty queen shot down by one of her most faithful admirers...... like a Ph.D. who is facing the fact, that they aren't changing the world as they thought they would, in an elementary classroom........ its a time for confusion....... a time for pondering......... a time hopefully for coming up with an answer........ the courage to move on or get back up your feet.......... at this point its a daze really...... cant say I like this situation, where I finally fully grasp - what it is to be completely blank...

Lazy and Alone?

After a much awaited and satisfying period of employment..... I find myself in the "in-between jobs" stage.... additionally, I've also found myself experiencing how it would be to live alone....... its a very comfortable and idyllic residential space...... where the only glitch to a perfect home-owners experience is a little water flooding in if it rains too much........ not a huge problem, considering some of the places I've seen and lived in...... but more than anything, its an insight as to what my life would be - if I choose to live alone at any point of time........

.....Although capable of long gruelling hours of work with practically no break in between..... deep within me resides a lazy soul..... who thinks of late mornings..... slow afternoons.... and a relaxed evening that merges seamlessly into the night..... while your alone..... one gets to experience this wonderful transition at your own pace...... but there comes a point where this blessed existence becomes so monotonous that you really feel that your spoiling the spirit of 'Laziness' by being too lazy...... similarly as much as I appreciate the solo living..... its true worth lies in the fact that its a treat you look forward to and not be your way of life itself...... there are many here who probably live alone and find it to be the best....... I agree, for a few days...... its like an old saying in my native language - " if in excess, even nectar is poison".......